just another night without you

just another night without you
i pretend it's no big deal
going through the motions
trying not to watch the seconds turn to minutes

pretending the sunsets aren't

as beautiful as they could be

until i see them through your eyes

they aren't real to me

just another night without you

can you tell i'm faking a smile

i wouldn't say it's living

but it should last for another little while

are you just a day dream

or someone i will really find

can this fairy tale be truth

or is it all in my mind

just another night without you

i think i'm moving on

finding the beauty in a sunrise

the fake just might be gone

i'm tired of the lonely pain

the pictures with only a grey hue

i need to see the gorgeous colors

just another night without you

Happy Singles Awareness Day!!

Like we all need another day to proclaim our love for someone!!! Aren't we supposed to be doing that every day?? I mean I just don't get it... those of us who try to pretend the day doesn't exist end up getting little gifts all day long that just make us feel worse about not getting them something. Like we did think about doing, but like I said... still pretending the day doesn't exist!!

I don't even want to turn on my radio on the way home from work because I know their only going to be playing stupid love songs over and over and over and over...

I can't watch TV because even the Death Metal channel will be doing some sort of LOVE THEME!!! Basically I've come to the realization that you just can't ignore the day.. the best thing to do is go into hiding... but you have to hide long enough for the people you work with to think you aren't coming back and just go ahead and eat the candy some happily NOT single person left on your desk while you were gone...

And don't think that just because I'm alone for V-day this year is the reason I'm saying this.. no ma'am... Birthdays, Christmas, Anniversaries... I mean.. why make another day when someone is expected to do something else for someone... WE SHOULD BE DOING SWEET THINGS ALL THE TIME!!!

Who cares about tradition... traditions, like rules, are meant to be broken!!! Maybe we should start a HAPPY SINGLES DAY!!!! BE PROUD TO BE SINGLE!!!! I think that's a great idea!!! A day when all the people who are madly in love bring the happily single people gifts!!! And say "aren't you lucky to be single!!" and "man I'm so jealous of how happy you are not needing someone else to make you happy!!"

OK! OK! I've said my piece.. I'll let it go and move on... holla

thoughts

The thought of what you could be

keeps me going every day

but all the miles between us

seem to make them go away

The thought of what I could be

seem to make you want to stay

but as time passes so slowly

things aren't going to go your way

The thought of what we could be

gives me comfort in some way

the truth is that it never will

be anything but thoughts

and they too will fade away

I can't do this alone

The day is finally here

All the plans have been laid

Dad lights the candle in your place

A single tear runs down his face

I can't do this alone

Go through another special day without you

You should've been there

But instead you are here

By this beautiful stone

I can't do this alone

The day is finally here

We named her after you

Her daddy can't seem to get me through

The pain I still feel without you

I can't do this alone

Go through another special day without you

You should've been there

But instead you are here

By this beautiful stone

I can't do this alone

9/26/05

goodbye

Just turned 21 with a baby in her arms

sending a bad one out the door

25 with a whole new life

learning to work on herself

trying to hold on

to one that doesn't care

just turned 44 and feeling alone

watching her baby leave home

to start a life of his own

three of us sitting together and feeling alone

so many words of comfort spoken

but won't change our mind

new men come and go

but none worthy to be called dad

and there she sits

still alone and feeling sad

no man is worthy

or anywhere close to compare

but he'll do for tonight

and in the morning

when she wakes up she knows

it won't be right

the ones that are there

are just there to fill

the loss she feels in the air

tell us how to cure

the empty feeling inside

the one that comes and goes

but is always too hard to hide

someone fill this void

and fill it up high

cause before the night is over

our hearts will always say goodbye

9/7/05

im in love?

you think you know me

but you don't have a clue

all you see is what you want me to be

and what my fingers can do

you think you know me

but all you really know

are the words that i type

and the phrases i say

you think you know me

but how can that truely be

we've never even met

looked into the others eyes

never touched never kissed

you think you know me

but all you really see

are these words that are written

they aren't me

they are what you want them to be