Dear Little Princess with stars in your eyes, the daughter I dream to to someday have, when you are old enough to realize boys don't have cooties and you think you might want to kiss one,- you teenage girl that believes that your love is the first of its kind and that no one older than you has any idea what you are going through or how true your love is. Dear early 20's nearly a woman who believes the older the man, the more mature and smarter they are, the one that believes his money will last forever and that him buying you all you ask for is real love, the one that is still with her high school sweetheart and wants to get married before college is over because your life isn't going to be as wonderful as it could be without having that ring on your finger and the young woman that believes no other man will love you as much as he does~
The fairy tales you read and watch on tv ARE FAKE! You will fall in love many times, but you will also fall out of love, you will think no one understands what you have and then you will find out that everyone else just didn't want to pop your rose colored bubble and that everyone else knew it wouldn't work out and they will all tell you that AFTER you've finally realized it and told them that. There are however, Dragons!! You will date them again and again, possibly even marry one. There will always be a "bag of hair", look for it as early in the relationship as you can. It might be a "bag of hair" you can deal with, but better to know early on if it isn't. You will date men who are nowhere near your "dream man" but as time goes on, and you invest more time, money, tears, love, and laughs with this man, you will alter your dream into your "reality man" and you will enjoy the good days and make excuses for the bad ones. You will find as you get older that more and more people give you their opinion of how you could do better than the man you are currently with, yet no one ever tells you how the "fairy tale" might end and no one has an alternative fairy tale ending for you. You see people who are still married to their high school sweethearts and also couples who you know "won't work out", get married, have the life you always wanted, (or they appear to) and you will wonder why it can't happen for you and won't seem to ever happen for you.
There is no prince charming. I'm sorry about that. And, I promise, if you think your man is, marry him, you'll understand what I'm saying then. There are on the other hand millions of frogs! Don't' go too far with them (if you get my drift) though, they will NEVER turn into a prince. There are TONS of witches, the only true part of the fairy tale. You're just going to have to learn to deal with those, and rest assured that one day you might become one. This Reality Tale that I'm describing to you doesn't happen to everyone, remember those that are still married, happily? I'm sure you can think of a few. Also, know that you don't need to settle for anyone, if you feel you are settling, I could almost guarantee that you will find happiness with someone else. But as I'm now (just) 31, with my baby clock ticking, while everyone around me is pregnant, I can see where a woman could be happy with the man she has, so that she can have a piece of her dream. When you want something badly, like a ring, wedding, house, car, pet husband, BABY.... it feels like everyone has it or is getting it, or getting more of it than you are and you are going in the wrong direction. Or like my favorite little saying, "just when I think I have all my ducks in a row, someone comes along and shoots one of them". Talk about a dream killer.
You will make mistakes with your heart, with your body, with your mind, and with your spirit, but hopefully you will LEARN from them. I do promise that learning from them will make the mistakes easier to bear when you look back on them, and trust me, you will look back on them more times than you would like to. Your family will more than likely never take them man you decide to be with forever, into their open arms and give their blessing, and if they do, they will secretly think you could do better and will tell you how they "have always felt" when and if you ever break things off.
You will make mistakes with your heart, with your body, with your mind, and with your spirit, but hopefully you will LEARN from them. I do promise that learning from them will make the mistakes easier to bear when you look back on them, and trust me, you will look back on them more times than you would like to. Your family will more than likely never take them man you decide to be with forever, into their open arms and give their blessing, and if they do, they will secretly think you could do better and will tell you how they "have always felt" when and if you ever break things off.
I only tell you all of this because I want you to know the truth and because you will forget this letter and hopefully find it and re-read it when you need it most and realize that you are not alone in the world, the REAL world. I have been there too. Now, all that being said, don't ever give up YOUR dreams, dreams DO come true, for those who work harder for them than anyone else does. And I hope and dream for you that you have the Fairy Tale throughout your entire life, and if not, that you have moments of dreamland that you can cling to and bring you happiness when the witches and dragons have beat you down till you think you can't stand again. There is always a light; you just might have to look harder for it sometimes. Look for it in those tickles your Momma gives you, those moments when your Dad threatens to shoot your date if he makes you cry, when you have your first kiss and your heart wants to jump out of your chest. Find a light in the time spent with the best girlfriends you could ever ask for and when you realize your parents are and can be the best friends you ever knew and you know how much it means to have them and cry someday when you realize you might not have them forever, like I have.
I love you my Little Princess, sweet dreams, The End, Love forever, your future Mom.
I love you my Little Princess, sweet dreams, The End, Love forever, your future Mom.
Traci Spellings 1/6/11